Thursday blue

Good music from the very talented Yunalis Zarai. It's the best medicine when I'm feeling like a crap.

Hello everyone. Life's has been pretty hectic this few days. My assignment due date is just this Saturday but haven't even start writing. Well I procrastinate a lot and I don't mind peoples judging me over that attitude. Owh yeah, serve me right for procrastinating because now I feel like shit. I'm panicking like I'm dying tomorrow. Ermmm let's just hope I pass the module.

I am beautiful not matter what they say

 As salam everyone. I know it's been a while since my last post. It's really hard for me to find time to write a beautiful post that will inspire peoples.

Urmmmmmm, I don't even know where to start. Over the joy and hurdle I've been through since I started learning I think I just need to blog. Well so many things lingers on my mind right now. Let's just begin before I forgot what I suppose to share. Nothing much in today's post. I'm just going to share what I has learned in my life in order to reach for the stars.

When I first started doing my diploma I'm not really sure of everything I had done. First day of diploma was really hard for me. I don't even know what to do and what to say. It's like I'm sitting alone in the jungle and I had no one to talk to. I remembered that time I don't even wan't to socialize with all the peoples I saw. I kept waiting for everyone to speak to me first before I introduce myself to them. On the first day everyone kinda look fierce to me and I'm just so scared to even say hi to them. Yes, I am the quietest student that day. Honestly in my family I am the loudest. With my family I can just act crazy, insane, cacat and silly. I always asked myself  "am I normal to act this way?" wow, that's me in my family. Surprisingly I'm not that kind of person in college. People use to label me the quietest girl on the planet (no I mean in the classroom HAHA). Well I wonder why but I just can't be loud whenever I'm in college and other places. I guess things just worked that way when I'm not with my family.

I really learned a lot in diploma. I remembered in my first semester during diploma I failed one of the paper. That time I was so frustrated and depressed like I know I'm going to die. When I know I failed I was mentally and physically distracted with everything. I kept questioning myself " am I stupid?" "am I bad?". Well it's just hard for me to adapt to the situation that time. I thought if I failed one subject I'm not going to be able to complete my diploma. I think's having to deal with failure and frustration are horrible. That's not just it. As my journey as a diploma student go further I has to deal with other hard situation. Of all this time I thought taking exam is the worst but actually I has to deal with other tougher situation. It all started when I was told by my module leader that I has failed to complete my assignment and presentation. At that moment was so depress like it's coming to the end of the world. When other judge me I can't even deal with it. I felt like I am so stupid because kept letting everyone judge me. During my diploma I always find things are too tough for me to handle. I don't even see the real world yet but I already started assuming that things will become this way and will ended up this way. I once felt like giving up but I'm sane enough to think of my life.

Yeahhh. After the 3 tough years I finally graduate. I'm proud of my self because I myself never thought that I will actually graduate.

Now I'm officially a preschool teacher and a degree student. Trust me working and studying at the same time are not easy at all. I use to get panicked over the past 3 years but I has learn that living life is never easy. As time flies I don't really feel any pressure anymore. It's not that I'm saying things are getting easy but I now has learn to take things easy. I know no when to remain calm and not to panicked. Since I started working I has learn many things. I sometimes found things that I learned was valuable and precious. In the first few month I was a bit culture shock with the environment. Haha, now i've been working for almost 4 month already and I think I already get use to some situation. It's good that I don't easily get panicked when tough situation came to me. Overall since now I am still learning to be a better person. Now I realize that getting panicked over everything with not solve any problem. I also realize that taking things too easy will not gave any good.

Allhamdulillah, I can't still breathing in this world and makes this post alive. xoxo